The Wardrobe Malfunction.

If you’re the joyful individual who came to this post in the odd hope of bare nipples and sneaky panty shots, you can leave now, because that’s not what I meant.

I do have a wardrobe malfunction, but it’s the entirety of it that’s not functioning. It’s not working for me. At all.

I’ll spare you the agonising story of how it came to be, and will instead unfurl my plan of action for combatting it.

Now this is a huge post. You’ve been warned.

Colours and Prints

colours and prints

One dark, one neutral, one bright, and one print: Black, grey, gingham/ plaid, and mustard yellow.


Small — 250 in local currency. I don’t spend it every month, and intend to accumulate. Still, it’s a small sum as a pair of tights I bought recently cost 110. I may have to increase it eventually, seeing as I have a full wardrobe to build.


While I can’t fully stand behind Carrie Bradshaw’s famous line about money, I do love a big closet. More even, I love a big closet that works. My current focus is on the following basic items, and only one item in each colour.

  • Trousers – already have black and grey
  • Long sleeve shirts – black, grey, colour
  • Short sleeve shirts – black, grey, colour
  • T-shirts – the idea of a plaid t-shirt terrifies me, so it’ll be grey, colour, and an additional black
  • Maxi skirts – need a grey one, a print, and a colour one
  • Pencil skirts – grey, print, and colour
  • Dresses – grey, mustard, and print
  • Cardigans – all four kinds
  • Turtlenecks (silence, I love them) – black, mustard, and one more black
  • Pullovers – all four kinds
  • Blazers – black, grey, and colour
  • Tights – grey, colour, and I am not sure how I feel about plaid tights, so another pair of grey or black

For shoes, I’ll be substituting plaid/ gingham with nude. Also, if you think of it, that’d be a powerful lot of ’em shoes, if I end up buying every pair, so I might just focus on the black and nude. And grey, because I love grey. Grey grey grey.

  • Flats, casual – colour and grey
  • Flats, dressy – all colours
  • Classic pumps – grey, nude, colour
  • Sandals, flat – all colours. My black ones are old and dingy, and will more than likely need a replacement come May
  • Sandals, platform/ wedges – grey, black, colour
  • Hiiigh/ dressy heels – all four kinds
  • Flat boots – all four kinds
  • Heeled boots – grey and colour, don’t care much for nude boots
  • Winter boots – all four kinds. My black ones are on their last leg, no pun intended at all, because that’d be a gruesome pun, – so I’ll need new ones for next season.

For accessories, I need to take good stock of all the scarves and hats I already have. There’s a lot of them, of all colours and shapes, but I do believe I’m missing the grey ones.

  • Purses – colour and nude
  • Leather gloves – black, grey, colour. Going to skip print for these ones.

Then, of course, there’s the matter of sun glasses and regular frames. I only have one pair of glasses that I’ve worn for ages now. They need to retire to back-up. I also have only one pair of sunnies.

My priority lies with trousers, maxi skirts, shirts, cardigans, tights, t-shirts, and some footwear. And then there are categories that are a bit of a deviation, like wellies, jeans, and underthings. I only need one pair of wellies, and I’ll probably go for black ones. Oddly enough, I don’t like black jeans, so I’m going to look for navy/ dark blue, light wash, and charcoal grey for that. Underwear I like to keep black, with an occasional beige/ nude for the off occasion when I’d need to wear white or very light fabrics.

Currently I only exercise at home, so I don’t need any fancy wear for that. Then there’s the matter of accessories, coats/ outerwear, and hats/ scarves/ gloves. I will stick to the same colours in here, but I am not quite sure I need four bloody coats and four ruddy trench coats.

Now, this is a huge list, and it’s going to take me a while to fill in all the slots – and maybe somewhere in the middle of it all I’ll decide that I don’t need a pair of gingham trousers after all — but honestly, that’s what I’m counting on, all the time it’ll take me. I want my purchases to be deliberate and premeditated.

Cuts and Styles

I like loose cuts and straight lines, and I also like bodycon, so it’s hard for me to say what I’ll go for. It will probably fall somewhere in the middle at first. I’m going to play it safe with the basics – that’s what the basics are for, anyway – and then see where to go from there.

Though my day job is corporate, we don’t have a dress code. I could come in all studded and mohawked, and no one would care. (Beside the kitchen gossippers.) I’m a goth in recovery (you never fully recover, by the way), so that will be an influence.


For shirts, tights, underthings, and footwear I will predominantly stick to local brands. Everything else I’ll probably raid second hand shops for.


… will probably be well-documented on my Pinterest boards. I would very much welcome it if you followed me there.

Timeline and Updates

As I’ve said, it’s going to take me a bit of time to “complete” this thing. I’ll post regular updates every two-three months.

Ironically, my next post on the subject will be about wardrobe clear-out. It currently looks very messy, but in a week or so it will look very spare.

Terrifying, but I’m counting on it.

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